Funemployment

These "recession slang" words in this article in the Christian Science Monitor are pretty funny, but I am particularly fond of this one [emphasis mine]:

Funemployment, n. The practice of enjoying one's unemployment.

The funemployed subscribe to the philosophy that in the face of bleak employment prospects, it's better to make the most of time off by catching up with old (read: also unemployed) friends or developing low-cost hobbies, ideally during normal business hours to realize the additional benefit of irking one's employed friends.

I also had the following exchange via IM after I'd set my away message to "Out for a run" at about 1:30 in the afternoon:

Friend: i know you're unemployed and it sucks, but i'm really jealous that you can just pick up and go for a run.
Me: ha. being unemployed doesn't actually suck at all
Friend: i was sorta figuring that. i loathe you

How To Save Money, Organize, Be Productive, Clean Your House, Parent, Be Environmentally Friendly, Cook, and Decorate Your Home

Many people are making money or at least gaining some minor Internet fame by blogging advice about various subjects. After looking over the categories in my Google Reader and the multiple blogs in each, I have realized that these bloggers aren't telling me anything new. They're recycling the same old tired tips, much like magazines (remember them?) did before. And here I am, unemployed, nothing but time on my hands, so what am I waiting for? I'm puttin' my own spin on this game and maybe I'll get famous too!

Frugality
Don't buy shit you don't need.

Decluttering/organizing
Get rid of shit you don't use.

Productivity
Sit down and do some goddamned work. Every day.

Housecleaning
Grab a rag and get to it. God, could you people be any lazier?

Parenting
Doesn't make you special. You made your decision, now STFU. [I guess this isn't, strictly speaking, advice. Nor do I find parenting blogs in my RSS reader. Oops, my bitterness is showing.]

Green living
Vinegar.

Cooking
Google "recipes." Buy ingredients. Follow directions.

Home decor
Pick up some trash. Paint it. Voila!

See? I'm good. I might start separate blogs for each topic.

Determination

I applied for unemployment online. There were a lot of sternly worded details about eligibility. One of them said:

You must be determined to be fully unemployed.

I thought, "Oh hell yes! I'm your woman! I'm absolutely determined to be fully unemployed." I did think it was a bit of an odd requirement.

On further consideration, I realized that it means THEY will DETERMINE, based on your answers to various questions, whether you can be considered to be fully unemployed and therefore eligible for unemployment benefits. Too bad, really, because I'm sure they'd have a lot of enthusiastic takers for my original interpretation of the sentence.